The Great Drinking Experiment of 2008

The name of this article, coupled with previous posts detailing the exploits of my many drunken nights (or days), may suggest an experiment of the nature, "How long will it take me to drink 100 beers?" Or, "I wonder if I can get my BAC over .20 in under an hour?" Indeed, and sadly some might say, this is not the experiment of which I speak. Perhaps a more appropriate title would be the Great Non-drinking Experiment of 2008. The experiment, I will explicitly state, is to see whether I can go for one month, from April 2nd to May 3rd, without drinking to the point of intoxication. This may sound an easy feat for an average person, but indeed, I am no average person in this respect. As of yesterday, I was averaging drinking to the point of being legally restricted from operating an automobile an average of 4 or 5 times a week (to say nothing of the times I've doubled that limit or more).

I have often been known to promote heavy drinking, as well as promoting certain bars and specials at which binge drinking is the norm. I am going out of my way right now to say that by no means am I taking back any of the positive things I have said about alcohol, or the heavy consumption of it. I will at no point stop promoting heavy drinking for anyone who participates, or is thinking about participating in this grand exercise of free will. What I am doing is that which, in the last four years, I have not done-- I am exposing myself to the other side. I will attempt this daring feat in an attempt to gain an additional perspective from which I have long been detached. I will maintain an update of my sober "exploits" and report back to the drinking world what, if anything, differs in the "responsible drinking" lifestyle.

"Great, what's next Jeff, opening a savings account? Maybe you'll go to every class, too, huh?" You may be thinking this to yourself, due to the obviously contradictory nature of my newfound non-alcoholism. My answer, of course, is no. As with any good experiment, it is frowned upon to change more than a single variable if we are to deduce valid results. The same is true here. I'll attempt in every way possible to lead a life of relative non-productivity, with the only change being a drastically reduced alcohol consumption. With that, I hope you will wish me luck. When it's all said and done, I hope I can pass on some insight as to how the "other side" lives. If I do, and its helpful, maybe you can buy me a beer.