Hmm... What to say about these first two weeks? Well, I guess the first and most important point is that everyone was right. I couldn't do it. Birthday parties, friends graduating in May that I might not see very much in the coming years, etc. I was just unable to overcome the fact that, as I have said on multiple occasions, EVERY day is a potential drinking day.
I made it past the first weekend with ease, consuming a measly 5 beers between Thursday night and the next week Wednesday. When BnP (Beer and Pizza) came around Wednesday, I was powerless to resist her attractions. I went and drank relatively (for me) responsibly, and then did NOT continue to drink heavily on into the night. A moral victory for me, at the very least.
It was not until Saturday, April 12th, ten full days after I began my vow of non-drunkenness, that I got shitfaced. I blacked out, arriving at a good friend's birthday party around 10pm, and drinking steadily into the wee hours. I awoke Sunday afternoon, not particularly hungover, but with no real memories after 2 or 3am (I got home sometime after 5, as pieced together based on the fact that that is when my roommate got home, and I was not home then, but managed to wake up in my bed).
So, did I get right back up on the horse, and try to prove everyone wrong now that I'd fucked up and proved them right? Of course not, I fucked up, so now I drink again. I am a man who admits my failures, and this is one of them. I am not completely back to drinking at the high levels of my lore, but for all intensive purposes, I am a drinking man again.
Did I learn anything on my failed sober voyage? Well, I guess it isn't all that bad being sober, not even around drunk people. While I was sober, I managed not to fuck anything up (my first blackout night I broke my phone and had to get a different one). Can I exist in the in-between? Am I capable of pulling off the middle ground between stark sobriety and raving intoxication? All the evidence points to no, which is really too bad, at least some of the time. Ah well, though, if nothing else I can go back to doing what it is I do best.
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