Is there anything quite as indicative of the redneck than the ridiculous novelties adorning his (or her.... shudder) truck? Ludicrous inventions, such as Truck Nutz, are the perfect way to tell the world, "I'm proud of my red neck, motherfucker." And of course, they do just that. My only major issue with this, of course, is that there is nothing whatsoever to be proud of when calling oneself a redneck. Rednecks are, as the rest of us know, fucking stupid. If you didn't know this already (and you should have) just watch some Larry the Cable Guy. Their idiocy and that character made that man a millionaire.
There is something even more deeply chilling about the stupidity of rednecks, however, and I alluded to it above. Their pride. These assholes are actually proud of the misspellings of words on their bumper stickers. They're prideful of the very nature of their ignorance yet they seem to recognize themselves as the "American Ideal." Ironic, is it not, that the very people whose borderline illiteracy has almost assuredly prevented them from reading anything about America, its laws or its politics, its history or its future, see themselves as the epitome of it?
Still more ghastly is the ferocity with which they seem to advertise this prideful ignorance. A primary weapon in the arsenal of any bullshit-spewing redneck is his/her truck. Large, environment killing, mud-tire sporting, eardrum-rattling, redneck-Christian bumper sticker wearing, lift-kit heightened, redneck trucks. They infuriate me, and this is why; they have come to represent, with their very existence, a mobile billboard for the advertisement of all that is hick (and the ignorant pride that entails).
We've all seen these trucks on our roads and freeways, and perhaps some of you have not fully considered the message behind them. "I am a redneck and I'm damn proud no matter what you say." Well, now perhaps you will join me in my response to this message, and that response is, "Hey redneck, fuck you."
Jeff N.
No comments:
Post a Comment