Television Sucks

I used to believe that the invention of the television, and its many subsequent upgrades (LCD, plasma, DLP, 1080i, 1080p, etc.) was a remarkable and important social breakthrough. After all, the ability to transmit information and entertainment into the homes of millions is a highly important sociological phenomenon. The potential to keep everyone informed on current issues, to bring their favorite team's games to the fans, to provide quality entertainment at a reasonable price--these are the aims and promises of such a universal system of media.

That is what I used to believe. That is what I still want to believe. But this is indeed very far from the reality. Let me start by saying, yes, I do watch some television. The majority of what I watch, however, is live sporting events and various recaps of those events (read: Around the Horn, PTI). From what I can see, nearly everything else is shit. Shit, excrement, garbage, dog vomit, waste, etc. These things, in reality, disgust me far less and provide more stimulation to me than the majority of what I have seen the last several years on TV.

Do not get me wrong, I used to love television, and to the extent I wrote above, I still do. It is when I venture outside the realm of the ESPNs and FSNs that things get hairy. If you don't believe me, take a look at the most recent ratings.

The three most watched shows of the week are American Idol- Tuesday, American Idol- Wednesday, and American Idol- Thursday. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! What kind of stupid-fuck, townie-pieces-of-shit do I share a country with? The rest of the ratings only serve to reinforce my hatred for mankind. Oprah's Big Give follows closely on the heels of the Idol triumvirate (sigh....).

Following in the top 20 are gems such as Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Don't Forget the Lyrics (a karaoke version of Idol.... fuck me), Survivor: Micronesia (did you know that show still existed?), and Here Come the Newlyweds (I was too disgusted to read the description of this one).

For the season, American Idol's Tuesday and Wednesday editions hold the top 2 spots, while 3 and 4 are held by Dancing with the Stars Monday and Tuesday. This means there are more people who watch these shows on a regular basis THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON TELEVISION! I'm literally breathing into a paper bag, trying to calm my nerves and stop shaking with rage long enough to type the rest of this.

Is it because there is nothing else on at these times? Is it due to the insane popularity of "reality" television. Is it America's sick fascination with watching others do what they can't? I don't know, and frankly it doesn't matter. The bottom line is that MILLIONS of people sit down three nights a week to watch and see which fuckwad sings like shit and gets kicked off and which fuckwads sing not-like-shit and stay for another week.

I wish I could personally slap everyone who makes that show, and the dozens of similarly shitty shows, the most popular shows in the world. I wish I could scream at every dumbshit that calls or texts to vote for that show. But I can't... and it wouldn't matter if I could. People are stupid--Really, really stupid. It's been that way forever, and it will be that way until some just god realizes he gave the beautiful gift of life to humanity, and they used it to create shitty reality TV.

God, if you're out there and you're reading this, kill us all, every last one of us. Sure, there are some good ones among us, but this entire planet is an infected zone, and the only cure for "stupid" is Armageddon.