Monday, February 18, 2013

Reflections on my 10,000th day

(The most complete image we have of the universe... so far)

Today marks my 10,000th rotation on this planet and, as such, I figured I’d take a moment to reflect. I’ve remarked previously on how unfathomably lucky we all are to have been born at all, let alone in this fascinating information age, but today I’m feeling particularly thankful for the random confluence of universal circumstances that brought me here.

Given that I was by no means guaranteed a life at all, let alone this relatively charmed* one, it only makes sense that I take time to appreciate the realities of my existence, lest I lose sight of my ultimate good fortune and become unnecessarily bogged down by the pressures of the here-and-now. It’s this grand-scale perspective, actually, for which I’m most thankful. Without it, and the many generations of highly-evolved scientific inquiry and experimentation without which this perspective would be impossible, I’d have no objective basis for understanding the privileged nature of my life.

Cosmology tells us the universe is 13.7 billion years old and that our Milky Way is but one of at least 100 billion galaxies within it. Evolutionary biology clues us in regarding the environmental pressures that shape the course of life on Earth and led to the arrival of modern humans some 200,000 years ago. Advances in neuroscience have taken us closer than ever to the brink of an objective, mechanistic understanding of the human animal and what is, unquestionably, our most intriguing attribute: consciousness.

These facts can seem depressing if taken in the wrong light. Ironically, it’s the evolutionarily advantageous, if fundamentally incorrect, belief in our own ultimate significance that makes the truth hurt. We’ve evolved to feel as though our lives have purpose, a belief reinforced in society and culture. It’s only through objective self-awareness that we can break ourselves of this thinking, at which point we’re free to contextually reframe the idea of meaning in our own lives as we see fit. While this may lack the romanticism of metaphysical ideals, it also lacks the platitudes of religion and other such flawed paradigms, giving us a more accurate--and interesting--demystification of existence.

Rather than letting our incomprehensibly small part in the greater cosmic order depress me, I use thoughts of this nature to reinforce the fact that this life is an extraordinarily rare, one-time ride that needs to be experienced as deeply as possible while we have the chance. Is this a cliched sentiment? Sure (at least among the non-religious). But if I can use this knowledge to spur myself to action where I’d otherwise have failed to act, or to deepen my recognition of nature’s beauty, or if it inspires me to inspire others, or if it helps me disconnect from an unhealthy attachment to an earthly idea, then I’m not afraid to be cliche. The reality is that, for all the “carpe diem” talk in the world, the vast majority of us don’t act in accordance with this.

Most of my 10,000 days were lived without the benefit of this kind of perspective. As I’ve come to see things as I do now, I’ve struggled at times through seemingly-inevitable bouts with nihilism. Through much reading, however, and even more time spent in thought, I feel I’m successfully crafting a model for living my life in light of its underlying meaninglessness without falling victim to impractical fatalism. While at times it may be tempting to long for the simplicity of my worldview circa 5000 days ago, I understand that greater perspective can only aid me in the long run. My willingness to acknowledge the truth is of no consequence to truth itself.

With days 10,001 and on, for as many as I should be so lucky as to see, I want to dedicate myself in greater part to spreading my worldview and its scientific underpinnings. I want to do what I can to disambiguate the often murky philosophical connotations of a life lived in accordance with what science tells us about ourselves. I have no doubts regarding the long-term prevalence of these ideas. Men and women with powers of perception far exceeding my own are already making headway. If I can play even a tiny part, however, in the popularization of a scientifically-grounded view of humanity, society, and our roles as individuals, I’ll have accomplished more than I could ever justifiably have hoped.

Each of the 9,999 days preceding today in my life, unfolding as they have, has built upon the day prior in
assembling the composite I call myself. It is impossible to separate out any one day or experience from the next in this causal chain. In light of this, and because I’m truly grateful to be who I am, where I am, when I am, I have no choice on this 10,000th day but to be thankful for everything, good or bad, that’s ever happened to me.


Jeff Neuman



* - my life hasn’t been without its hardships, of course, but taken as a whole and compared against the broad spectrum of the history of human life, I’d be a fool to call my existence anything less.

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